Friday, October 5, 2007

There Just Aren't Words

This week, our friends experienced a horrible loss. Their son, Nathan, died suddenly and unexpectedly. Nathan was ten years old - he was a very funny and kind little guy, and impacted the lives of many people. He will be missed terribly - his absence leaves a hole in our hearts. No words can express the depth of sorrow, or the pain his family is feeling. Losing a loved one is incredibly painful, and the loss of a child is unimaginable. There aren't enough words, not now or ever.

Parenthood is fraught with frustration - the challenges of raising a child are many, and one constantly questions each decision. We plot a course toward the end result of creating a responsible and moral adult out of a totally egocentric being, seeing their personality develop and wondering all along the way what mistakes we are making. We remember every misstep, and forget our successes. There is no finish line, no blue ribbon, only the intangible rewards - and those rewards are so precious, they outweigh every worry that keeps us up all night, and each searing pang of self-doubt. We make plans for the rest of our lives, preparing for when we're gone, fully expecting that we will die long before they do. To think the opposite defies logic, contrasts the natural order of things.

Here is the legacy of Nathan's life and death, for me: there is never enough time, so I will spend it wisely. Everyone has a different perspective, so I'll try to look at things from new angles. Tomorrow will get here soon enough, so I'll lose focus of the end result, and enjoy what's there right now.

Life is sometimes so tragically short.

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