Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Joys of Travel

I'm back from Orlando - it was a great trip. The meeting was very productive, and I got to visit Downtown Disney on Tuesday night (so AWESOME!!), and Orlando Premium Outlets last night, and see a lot of my peers who live in different parts of the country. My flights connected through Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta, which has smoking lounges inside the building, in almost every terminal. Now, on to the list:

Items Identified for LGF during my trip:
1. My own personal hell - I could look across the highway from my hotel and see the sign for the Coach factory outlet AND the Dooney factory outlet. I tortured myself by taking a stroll through each of these stores last night. Did I mention that I had NO money to spend? If I am a very bad person, this is how I will spend eternity.
2. The majority of other travelers - General rule of thumb - when walking through an airport that is roughly the size of a city, regular traffic rules should be observed. Do you come to a screeching stop in the middle of the street to engage in a conversation? Is it your habit to straddle two lanes while driving slowly? Do you drive off and leave your children a block or so behind, then stop short upon the realization that it's YOUR name they are screaming? If so, you are a blight upon society and should never be allowed in Orlando International or Hartsfield-Jackson. And you should consider driver's ed.
3. Airline cost savings tactics - I don't miss the rubber "turkey" sandwiches, and I'm not that enthusiastic about eating while on a plane, anyway. Bring me a diet coke and don't crash the plane, and I'm happy. HOWEVER - "puddle jumper" planes should be reserved for just that type of travel. I'm talking to you, Delta Connection. A trip from Tulsa to Atlanta is not going across a puddle. In an Embraer, it's a sweaty, confining, stuffy journey in a sardine can. Why did I get a 767 from Orlando to Atlanta (1 hour) vs. an Embraer from Atlanta to Tulsa (2.5 hours). This is ridiculous and must be stopped.
4. Airport Security at Orlando International - Plan to arrive an hour before your flight, in order to stand in "line" for 45 minutes, and sprint to the tram, then run like hell for your plane. During this time, expect to be publicly humiliated by TSA screeners who are taking out their frustration over their lot in life on you. This is the sacrifice Disney demands of you.

The tributes:
1. Christine - My manager, Christine, is leaving tomorrow for an amazing opportunity with another company. I wish her the best of luck, and she deserves every success. I will miss her terribly, though. She lives outside of Philadelphia, and as such I only see her roughly annually. She was in Orlando, and seeing her before she leaves our current employer was the highlight of the trip.
2. Minibar - I needed you, minibar. When I worked until 2 a.m. on both nights, I longed for your company. My lonely, empty, bare little fridge needed company. Where were you, minibar? Please come back.
3. The time when I heard the words "Final Destination" and didn't get a little shiver, wondering if I would get home, ever. How foreboding.

Have a lovely evening...I'm going to bed now.

1 comment:

BTS said...

I will plan a trip at a less convenient time to avoid connecting flights and ensure a bigger aircraft. There's nothing worse than flying from Dallas to Chicago in a freakin' Piper Cub.